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Poem

Say, o Hero—
Say, high I hold my head!
Looking at my head, the Himalayas
bow their peaks.
Say, o Hero—
Say, piercing through the great sky of the universe,
reaching above the Moon, the Sun, planets and stars,
breaking through the limits of earth and heavens,
pushing through the Arash, the throne of God,
I have risen as an eternal surprise of the Goddess of earth!
On my forehead shines Shiva, the Destroyer,
as some royal victory’s bright emblem.
Say, o Hero—
I hold my head high ever!
I am ever irrepressible, arrogant and merciless:
I am the dancing Shiva of the great cataclysm,
I am cyclone, I am destruction,
I am great terror, the curse of earth,
I am irresistible,
I grind all to pieces!
I am lawless and reckless.
I trample down all restraints, all rules and disciplines!
I care no law,
I sink vessels laden to the brim,
I am torpedo, I am the terrible floating mine!
I am Durjati, I am the tempest of sudden summer
with disheveled hair!
I am the rebel,
I am the mutinous child of the Goddess of earth!

Say, o Hero—
Say, high I hold my head!
I am storm, I am cyclone,
I go on destroying whatever comes on my path.
I am the dance-intoxicated rhythm,
I dance at my own pleasure,
I am the unfettered joy of life!
I am Hambir, I am Chhayanat, I am Hindol,
I am ever reckless,
Going my way with quick gestures,
suddenly I leap with wonder,
I am Hindol, the quick lightning in the sky!
O brother, I do whatever my mind wants,
I embrace my enemies and wrestle with death,
I am mad, I am tornado!
I am plague, I am great fear of this earth;
I am terror of the ruler, I am destruction,
I am full of a warm restlessness for ever!
Say, o Hero—
ever high stands my head!

I am ever reckless, ever irresistible,
I am irrepressible, the cup of my life
is always, yes always, full to the brim.
I am the sacrificial fire,
I am Yamadagni keeping the sacred fire ever alive,
I am devotion, I am priest, I am fire.
I am creation, I am destruction,
I am habitation, I am the cremation ground,
I am the termination, the end of night!
I am the son of Indrani with the moon
in my hand and the sun on my forehead.
My one hand holds the curved bamboo flute
and the other the trumpet of war!
My throat is black from drinking poison
churned up from the ocean of pain!
I am Shiva, I catch the waters of Gangotri free from bondage!
Say, o Hero—
ever high stands my head!

I am monk, I am the song-soldier,
I am crown-prince, my royal garment is fade brownish red.
I am a vagabond, I am Genghis,
I salute none but myself.
I am thunder, I am the sound of Om on Shiva’s horn,
I am the mighty roar of Israfil’s trumpet,
I am the tabor and the trident of Pinakpani,
I am the staff of justice of the Great Just.
I am the wheel and the great conch of Vishnu,
I am the fearsome din of the primeval Om!
I am a disciple of the mad sages Durvasa and Viswamitra,
I am the forest fire, I shall burn the universe to ashes!
I am open-hearted laughter and exaltation,
I am enemy to creation, the mighty terror,
I am the eclipse of the twelve suns on the Doomsday!
I am serene sometimes, sometimes restless, ruthlessly self-willed,
I am the youth of dawn,
I crush the vain glory of fate under my feet!
I am the fury of storm,
I am the tumultuous roar of the ocean,
I am bright, shining ever bright,
I am the rippling surge of water and the roll of moving waves!

I am the plaited braid of a smart maiden’s locks,
the spark of fire in her blazing eyes.
I am the wild love that blossoms like lotus
in the sixteen years old’s heart,
I am fortunate!
I am the absent mind of an indifferent girl,
the tearful sigh in a widow’s heart
and the lament of a despairing yearner.
I am the sorrow of deprivation
in the heart of the homeless wanderer living on streets,
I am the heart-pangs of the humiliated,
venomous pain and regeneration in the heart of the offended!
I am the plaintive cry of a sensitive aggrieved heart, its intense pain,
I am the trembling first touch of a virgin
and I am the throbbing tenderness of her first stolen kiss!
I am the fleeting glance of the secret beloved
and her repeated gaze on every pretence,
I am the love of the restless girl and the jingle of her bracelets.
I am the eternal child, the adolescent of all times,
I am the hem of the garment, the breast-cloth and the scarf
of the village maiden timorous of her youth!
I am the north wind, the breezes of spring
and the indifferent air of the east,
I am the deep melody of a wayfaring bard
and the music of a bamboo flute.
I am the raging thirst of summer and the fierce blazing sun,
I am the trilling spring in desert,
I am the cool shadowy greenery!
With an intense joy I rush onward,
What a madness! I am insane!
I have suddenly discovered myself
and all my barriers have fallen off!

I am the rising, I am the fall,
I am the consciousness in the unconscious soul,
I am the banner of victory over the gateway of the world,
I am the flag of human triumph.
I rush, fleet as storm, clapping my hands
that hold heaven and earth,
My carriers, the spirited Borrak and Uchchaisrava,
sprint with challenging neighs!

I am the burning volcano in the bosom of earth,
the forest fire, the holocaust of doom,
and the reverberations of the surging sea of fire
in the bowels of earth!
I climb the lightning and fly, leaping, snapping my fingers,
I cause sudden earthquakes and terrify the world.
I clasp the fangs of Vasuki the snake,
I catch the flaming wings of Gabriel,
I am a heavenly cherub, I am restless,
I am impudent and tear with my teeth
the garment of the mother-earth!

I am Orpheus’s flute,
its music lulls the heaving ocean into drowsy forgetfulness,
and in sleep it kisses the earth and soothes it to complete silence.
I am the flute in the hands of Krishna.
When I rage and rush enveloping the boundless heavens,
the fires of seven hells and Habia flicker
and die in panic!
I am the messenger of revolt all over the earth and the sky!

I am the deluge and floods of Sravan,
Sometimes I make the earth beautiful,
sometimes blessed in destruction—
I shall snatch away the twin girls from Vishnu’s bosom.
I am injustice, I am meteor, I am Saturn,
I am the comet’s terrific heat, the venomous killer asp!
I am Chandi the headless, I am ruinous Warlord,
Sitting in the fires of hell, I smile like flowers!

I am made of clay, I am formed of spirit,
I am ageless, immortal, inexpendible,
I am inexhaustible!
I am the terror of men, demons and gods,
I am ever unconquerable in the universe,
I am the supreme God over all gods of earth,
I am the superman, the truth,
I dance my way madly over heaven, underworld and earth!
I am insane, I am insane!
I have suddenly discovered myself
and all my barriers have fallen off! !

I am Parsurama’s cruel axe,
I shall rid the world of its tribe of warriors
and usher calm, generous peace!
I am the plough on Balaram’s shoulders,
I shall uproot with effortless ease this world in chains,
in the joy of creating it anew.

Weary of struggles, I, the great rebel,
shall rest in quiet only on the day
when the wails of the oppressed will not rend the air and the sky,
the scimitar and the sword of the oppressors
will not clang in the fierce arena of battle—
I, the rebel, weary of fighting,
shall be calm that day.

I am Bhrigu, the rebel,
I stamp footprints on the bosom of God!
I am the destruction of the creator,
I shall cleave the heart of capricious God
who smites with grief and anguish!
I am Bhrigu, the rebel,
I shall stamp footprints on the bosom of God!
I shall cleave the bosom of that capricious destiny!

I am the hero, rebel eternal—
Alone, I tower over the universe with my head unbowed.

1-2.7.2017 Sirajganj

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