UNCLE JOHN, he makes me tired;
Thinks ‘at he’s jest so all-fired
Smart, ‘at he kin pick up, so,
Ever’thing he wants to know.
Tried to ketch me up last night,
But you bet I wouldn’t bite.
I jest kep’ the smoothes’ face,
But I led him sich a chase,
Couldn’t corner me, you bet —
I skipped all the traps he set.
Makin’ out he wan’ed to know
Who was this an’ that girl’s beau;
So’s he’d find out, don’t you see,
Who was goin’ ‘long with me.
But I answers jest ez sly,
An’ I never winks my eye,
Tell he hollers with a whirl,
‘Look here, ain’t you got a girl? ‘
Y’ ought ‘o seen me spread my eyes,
Like he’d took me by surprise,
An’ I said, ‘Oh, Uncle John,
Never thought o’ havin’ one.’
An’ somehow that seemed to tickle
Him an’ he shelled out a nickel.
Then you ought to seen me leave
Jest a-laffin’ in my sleeve.
Fool him — well, I guess I did;
He ain’t on to this here kid.
Got a girl! well, I guess yes,
Got a dozen more or less,
But I got one reely one,
Not no foolin’ ner no fun;
Fur I’m sweet on her, you see,
An’ I ruther guess ‘at she
Must be kinder sweet on me,
So we’re keepin’ company.
Honest Injun! this is true,
Ever’ word I’m tellin’ you!
But you won’t be sich a scab
Ez to run aroun’ an’ blab.
Mebbe ‘t ain’t the way with you,
But you know some fellers do.
Spoils a girl to let her know
‘At you talk about her so.
Don’t you know her? her name’s Liz,
Nicest girl in town she is.
Purty? oh, git out, you gilly —
Liz ‘ud purt ‘nigh knock you silly.
Y’ ought ‘o see her when she’s dressed
All up in her Sunday best,
All the fellers nudgin’ me,
An’ a-whisperin’, gemunee!
Betcher life ‘at I feel proud
When she passes by the crowd.
‘T’s kinder nice to be a-goin’
With a girl ‘at makes some showin’ —
One you know ‘at hain’t no snide,
Makes you feel so satisfied.
An’ I’ll tell you she’s a trump,
Never even seen her jump
Like some silly girls ‘ud do,
When I’d hide and holier ‘Boo! ‘
She’d jest laff an’ say ‘Git out!
What you hollerin’ about? ‘
When some girls ‘ud have a fit
That ‘un don’t git skeered a bit,
Never makes a bit o’ row
When she sees a worm er cow.
Them kind’s few an’ far between;
Bravest girl I ever seen.
Tell you ‘nuther thing she’ll do,
Mebbe you won’t think it’s true,
But if she’s jest got a dime
She ‘ll go halvers ever’ time.
Ah, you goose, you needn’t laff;
That’s the kinder girl to have.
If you knowed her like I do,
Guess you’d kinder like her too.
Tell you somep’n’ if you’ll swear
You won’t tell it anywhere.
Oh, you got to cross yer heart
Earnest, truly, ‘fore I start.
Well, one day I kissed her cheek;
Gee, but I felt cheap an’ weak,
‘Cause at first she kinder flared,
‘N’, gracious goodness! I was scared.
But I needn’t been, fer la!
Why, she never told her ma.
That’s what I call grit, don’t you?
Sich a girl’s worth stickin’ to.
Reading Time: 2 minutes
